Grandma

I got old!
How the hell did that happen, I'm a grandma. I mean come on! I wasn't supposed to live passed my 30th birthday, live fast die young leave a beautiful corpse ! and I'm a Grandma "Twice" what the actual fuck.
 Now don't get me wrong I love my grandkids the new one is so cute , the old one is pretty beautiful too, and I love the thing that you do at the end of a visit, you know give them back (laughs) but that's also the moment I realise just how old I feel,gotta lay down rest my poor old back,raise my ankles above my heart so the swelling will go down, break out the painkillers so my whole Damn body doesn't go into spasm urghhh.
So what now Mr live fast? What happens when you don't die young and all the living fast is catching up with you, I need answers!
Live fast Grow old gracefully , fuck that shit I've never been graceful in my life, I'm gunna be the coolest grandma there ever was and I'll keep my aches and pains to myself, well except for the blogger lot.
Later dudes gotta go get my pinny on and bake the shit outta some cookies. 

                         Things that make you go "whut"

I have breathed a forty minute lifespan into my laptop ,
so maybe a short post about the joys of working with the young and thick innocent.

I work a double shift on a weekend and have a one hour break between shifts,
during one of these breaks we were talking about our best holiday memories,
mine was  scuba diving the great barrier reef amazing sea life and colours and seeing coral and sponges
in their natural surroundings, to which two of the younger girls exclaimed

"what do you mean sponges? why were there sponges in the sea"

Me: "because that's where they live before some one comes along and plucks them from their home for you to use in your bathroom."

The girls: "Ewwww sponges are living things and we wash our bits with them ewwww."

So I tried to speak a language they might understand.

Me: "Have you never watched SpongeBob square pants ? did you never wonder how they came up with the idea of a sponge who lived under the sea."

The girls:" SpongeBob is ace ."

They then had a discussion between themselves about how they didn't know that sponges were alive and how cruel it was to wash your body with something that was now dead, and wasn't it funny that SpongeBob was REAL !!

I was already doubled over with laughter when.

The blond one asked:" But wait a minute what is the green scrubby thing on its back is it a shell and why hasn't SpongeBob got one."

I laughed so hard I might have wee'd a little !!

My laptop is dying

My laptop is dying and I cannot get it to charge up I am getting really tired of typing whilst holding the charger cable at just the right angle. I thought it was the charger so I bought a new one, but no its the charging point :( Its been a good one and at four years old it's pretty ancient.
So I might not be around for a while, I can't afford a new one, things are just so expensive nowadays,and the bit of money I have has to pay for whatever we all need you know like food and clothing! so a new laptop will have to wait. I know you will miss me terribly but you will just have to soldier on. Kidding I have deleted my posts just in case I don't get back I will try to get into TCS now and then to see how everyone is doing.
Its been nice meeting you all and I wish you all the Best.
Remember never argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

                                                              love Jackie xxx